07/13/2005 - 1:08 p.m.

Ok, so the internet challenge didn't quite work out as planned. Although I AM spending LESS time online though. Also, I no longer have cable since they turned that off. I didn't get a bill for 2 months and then all of a sudden I get one saying that I owe 189.00. Um, I don't think so. But at anyrate, I'll pay off the bill and get it turned back on but with only basic service. I never really watched the movie channels anyway.

It's weird. I've been flying higher than a kite for the past few days and all in all while this isn't a bad thing I keep seeing flashes of scenes from a life that I would rather forget ever existed. It happened while I was sitting here at my desk just a few minutes ago.

It's weird because I thought that I was over it and quite honestly haven't thought about it for quite some time. It started yesterday while I was driving around and has been happening ever since.

I really don't want to think about it anymore.

The other night I bought a can of beer. I really wanted it. I could smell it, taste it, feel it and the warm gentle buzz it would bring...

I brought it home.

I stared at it.

I opened it.

I caressed the can.

I sat there and smelled it for about 2 hours.

Then I decided I didn't want it.

I poured it out and threw the can away.

I've been sober for almost 4 months now. This is the longest that I have managed to make it on my own. I realized that the one drink would lead to many more and end up sending me back from the path that I fought to get off of.

The greater feeling of accomplishment of having turned my back on the alcohol is greater than the quick buzz I would have gotten.

I'm rather proud of myself in this respect.

In other news though, I've been eating like a little piggy since payday and the scale shows a 4 pound gain since then. It's time to get back on track. I'm almost to my goal. I'm so close that I can smell it. There's no sense in giving up this close to the end you know? So starting right now, I'm back on track. More water, less food, more exercise.

David and I watched a movie the other night, it was called "White Noise". Let's just say that we were not impressed. In my opinion, it was like The Ring, FearDotCom and Strangeland all rolled into one. The premise was good, but the plot had too many holes in it and too many questions were left unanswered. I didn't like it.

In our words:

Next time we'll have to find a better movie. For real. But I'll never get him to watch a chick flick with me...Never. The closest we've gotten to 'chick flick' is "50 First Dates" which was an excellent movie.

"There's nothing like a first kiss"

And it's true.

Trust me on this.

I think things are going relatively well with his job. He told me a few days ago that he wishes I would go to work with him sometime.

"I wish you could come to work with me sometime"

"Why?"

"So these women will leave me alone"

"How are they bothering you?"

"Well it's known that I have a girlfriend and yet they keep trying to ask me out and it's annoying."

"Don't you dare go out with them."

"I'm not going to."

"Yeah better not because then I'd have to kick some tush, but I wouldn't know who to start with, you for going out with them, or them for asking."

"That's why I want you to come to work sometime."

"OK"

Um yeah, so strange women are hitting on my boyfriend at work. I don't like this, but I can't do anything about it. But I'm not TOOOOOOOOOO terribly concerned. I trust him and know that he loves me.

It's weird though, I kept getting hit on the other night as well. I guess it was the miniskirt. I don't know what's gotten into me lately. I don't flirt or anything so I don't get it.

Last night I was wired to the gills.

"I prefer this Maggie to the gloomy sad I want to die Maggie"

"Me too. I don't like her"(me)

"I don't either"

I guess I can handle being wired though. I'll take what I can get.

The remnants of Hurricane Dennis are still hanging around here as it's been raining still since last night. We got the brunt of the rain Sunday night, just as I left out to drive to David's. It should be noted that I can barely see to drive in the dark and the RAIN makes that 10x worse. I had some idiot ride my bumper all the way from Nashville to Murfreesboro which is a good 30-35 minutes. I was not a happy camper to say the least. But I've driven in worse...Hurricane Isadore back in 2002. THAT was fun...Hurricane Ivan was nothing compared to that nightmare.

Hopefully the rain will subside soon though because I'm tired of my hair being all frizzy like.

Home What You Missed Currently... Miss Maggies Comedy Hour