01/10/2006 - 7:07 a.m.

Ok Ok, so I'm running just a SMIDGE behind here, so sue me*lol* I've been a very busy little girl since after Xmas. And today, we just had our final assessment at work and I finished in record time (less than 30 minutes) with a score of 90% which gives me a 93% average overall. And now, I have 4+ hours to kill before I have to be back! What to do what to do...

Let's see:

Work
Taking care of house
Work
Attempting to sleep
Work

Get the picture?

Actually it's not that bad. And in other news David moved in 3 days after X-Mas. He has a job interview today at the University and I'm hoping he gets it. It's within walking distance since we live behind the University anyway. We had a few bumps pertaining to medication and the new Med program but luckily his doc was able to set him up with some samples to last a month so no worries there.

And now, as promised, I give you:

January: You Oughta Know~ Oddly enough, I was still out for revenge for wrongs from the previous year. Started out the year drunk as a skunk and hungover. Couldn't believe I had had THAT much New Year's.

February: You Should Hear How She Talks About You~ Met David, still quite lushy, but yet clear headed enough tojust KNOW I'd be with him.

March: And Then He Kissed Me~ I'm still pounding down the drinks but all of a sudden seem to be able to put the bottle down...I'm noticing changes in the relationship....and in my feelings toward David

April: You're In Love~ Enough said. Not drinking, but moods are very unstable. Evidently self medication was working to a degree...commit self to hospital for 5 days.

May: Life~Meds not working, just not happy, cutting, not drinking though. Off to hopitalization #2.

June: Hurt~ STILL not working properly. Attempt outpatient program to get stable and promptly get kicked out 3 days later and forced into hopitalization #3

July: Only Get So Far~ Decide to say screw the meds and try to make it on my own. Life seems not so bad after all.

August: I Will Survive~ The beginning of the end. I fought off a gunman in my bedroom at 330am in the morning, found out I was pregnant and lost the baby all in the span of a month. David and I start having problems after the break in, but things work out at least for a while anyway.

September: Over The Edge~ Break up, make up, lose job, losing IT, smile, put on your happy face...

October: Dust In The Wind~ Starting to feel worthless, useless and completely hopeless...

November: Crazy~ Finally lose it completely in a motel room in a podunk town in the middle of nowhere after a fight with David (and NO he was NOT the reason behind my 'losing it') attempted to drink self to death only to pass out...only to come to and puke for what seems like forever. Go to hospital and end up being escorted via Sheriff's Department to hospitalization #4. Noting that I voluntarily committed myself...Spend 8 days in state looney bin, go to Clarksville, mother refuses to help and makes me go live in a Salvation Army shelter. Stay on medication though.

December: Fighter~ Determined to get back on my feet. I land the perfect job, make goals and plans that convinced my mother to help me after all, landed good SAFE apartment and REFUSE to live another year like the past one.

Song of the Year: For the 3rd year in a row the song of the year is "Songs of Life" by Bret Michaels, because think about it. These ARE the songs of our life.

...love and pain and sacrifice, flesh and blood are the songs of life...

And there you have it kids: Miss Maggie's Soundtrack of Your Year...Complete with details.

And now it's time for:

1.Stop Smoking
2.Stay Sober (heck we even had non alcoholic champagne on NYE)
3.Lose 53 pounds
4.Quit biting fingernails
5.Stay on meds
6.Make final decision before end of year whether or not to join the Navy after losing said 53 pounds.
7.Using outline drafted while in the bin, actually write book and attempt to submit it.
8.Become more patient and tolerant.
9.Love more
10.Love often

These aren't really in any particular order and I'll be adding and deleting as needed. Besides I am of the opinion that they shouldn't be called resolutions as much as they should be called goals since these are things that I want to achieve.

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