01/31/2006 - 9:46 p.m.

Ok, the headache is a little better although not by much. It eased up for a little while and then came back with a vengence.

But while I can still see straight, I figured I'd go ahead and do a 'real' entry since I haven't done one of those for a while. Got a few things to get off my chest anyway and since I now have access at home(which is yet another concern of mine for various reasons) I can do it without work finding out about it and potentially firing me.

Oh wait, they're already trying to do that.

Yup, you heard that right. Miss Maggie has only been at Scaremark� (not their real name) for not quite 2 months and already I'm on a final written warning. We'll overlook the fact that I never got a verbal, a first written OR a second written. According to Them, I missed 4 days during training and technically should have never graduated. My trainer told me I missed 1 and a half. Now, my math may not be the greatest, but the last time I checked 1 plus one half did not equal 4.

But they couldn't make that stick on it's own, so guess what they used to get me to a final written?(when it should have only been a verbal)

My anxiety.

I informed my trainer on the first day of class that I suffered from anxiety and could not get up in front of groups of people. And that was fine. So I was told.

NOPE!

Because I didn't get up in front of a group of 50-60 people during my graduation I get popped with 'bad conduct' and told that my trainer had said that I had a problem doing what I was told. Said operations manager said that I didn't act like I had anxiety and that it seemed to her like I was just refusing to cooperate. She also said that I didn't make a very good impression on her and that her perception is her reality. If that's the case then one of two things will happen:

1. Someone else's reality will knock her on her ass leaving her to wonder what the fuck happened...

or 2. She's going to become the leader of her very own cult.

It should be noted at this point that I have about 2 years of doctor and therapy notes to back me up here on the anxiety issue. I was told that everyone would be watching me and that perhaps this wasn't the job for me etc etc.

Ok FINE. I signed the stupid paper and if I'm a good little Scaremark� Soldier until April I'll get knocked down to a 2nd written warning. Of course it may not matter, I had a phone interview with Verizon Wireless on Saturday night that I totally aced and scored a face to face interview for this Thursday at 11am.

The Good:

It's 5 minutes away from home as opposed to almost an hour

It pays exactly the same amount I make now

It's in a field I KNOW (sorry folks if you have Medicare part D...you're fucked, that's all there is to it because NO ONE knows what the fuck is going on)

The Bad:

There isn't a bad about this job

In other news, I think I hate the internet. Yeah, it can have useful purposes (such as writing in this diary, reading the news and chatting with friends) but there are other things that I just don't care for. And we'll leave it at that.

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