03/23/2006 - 11:30 p.m.

*written early this morning*

What the hell is wrong with me?

I FINALLY got some sleep today after taking one of those happy knock me out pills(aka Unisom) and now...it's a quarter til 4 and I'm sitting here damn near hysterical and in tears.

Once again, I feel like I'm trapped in a fucking maze that I can't get out of and feeling like that there's only ONE way out of it.

But part of me wants to run. Just run. I don't know where and I don't care where. Just run. I can't do this again. I just can't. I know I can't. I can't I can't I can't.

I gave in to the compulsion to cut.

Call me weak I suppose.

I've sat here all week sending out resumes etc and nada. I have just a few more options left. I've prayed etc, but I feel my hope fading fast.

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