04/27/2006 - 9:44 a.m.

Over the last month and a half my life took some ups and downs that I never thought possible.

Which has led me to here. In McMinnville...

Again.

Only this time without David.

Yeah, we're through.

For good.

We ended up having a major blowout at 1am in the parking lot of Walmart and I did something I shouldn't have. We'll leave it at that.

However, it should be noted that:

1. I originally planned to come up here because HE thought it was a good idea.

2. A week later he decided it wasn't.

3. So I came up here for MYSELF.

4. Then I tried to kill myself.

5. Ended up in the hospital for a week.

6. Then he decided that I'M the cause for HIS problems and told his parents as much. So now they despise me, but ONLY because HE can't take responsibility for HIS own actions. And now he's threatened to take a restraining order out on ME.

7. So here I am.

8. I have a job.

9. I have a place to live. My mom finally decided to help me out with a motel room for the next two weeks until I get paid.

10. I am of perfectly sound mind.

11. But after tomorrow's entry. You will not hear from me again.

12. I am leaving the user name and password in a document along with a request that these entries be printed along with my handwritten journals.

13. Don't bother. I'll be fine.

14. To the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.

For a brief few moments, I actually found the peace that I'd been searching for for a few years. I'm not depressed at the moment, not since I've been back on my meds. I'm pretty clear headed as a matter of fact. That's why I've made my decision. I'm settling some things in order right now and then we're off to the next great thing.

If you've been one of my readers from the get go you know that my life has taken me from Clarksville, to Nolensville, to the hospital to Missouri then Colorado and back again and now to McMinnville. I can't say that it's been easy, I certainly can't say it's been fun, but it has certainly been interesting if nothing else. I've had a pretty exciting life I suppose and I've done things and been places that I never thought I'd go. And oddly enough I'm grateful that I've been given the opportunity to take you, my readers along with me on this journey.

Thank You.

If you'd like to contact me right now, I've left the info where you can in my MySpace blog.

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