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The WeatherPixie

Twisted

05/05/2006 - 3:05 p.m.

Twisted


You think you hear demons,
I think you are the demon
In this place where images are born
You remember your childhood,
Oh, fire in sequences

The sun goes down, filling the air with color
Winds lift you up to god, lift you up to god

You fall to your knees, and imbrace the storm
You know longer care, if it's cold, if it's warm

You live for the danger, like your passion and your anger
You don't let go
You like to be twisted, by the force
You like to be shaken by the wind

I know, you know, watchin' you go is like dyin', is like dyin'

You take it to the limit
When the winds come up
Crazy men, crazy women
Cryin' out for love
You like to savor
But you just can't give it up

You'd rather be rapped up, in the arms of a storm
You'd rather be rapped up, in the arms of a storm

Crazy men, crazy women
In the arms of a storm
The sun goes down
(well the sun goes down)
Chasin' down the demons
(chasin down the demons)
You think you hear demons
(you think you hear demons)
Cryin' out for love
(I think you are the demon)
Chasin' down the demons
(the sun goes down)
Chasin' the demons down
(oh, the sun goes down)
You'd rather be rapped up
(the sun goes down)
In the arms of a storm
(chasin' down the demons)
Chasin' the demons
(there cryin' out for love,..............love)

~Twisted~Stevie Nicks

I woke up this morning with a quote running through my head...It speaks volumes to me.

It's from the movie Twister and it goes something like this:

Aunt Meg: He didn't keep his part of the bargain, did he?
Jo: Which part?
Aunt Meg: To spend his life pining for you, and die miserable and alone.
Jo: Is that too much to ask?

And deep down, that's how I feel to a degree. I feel like he didn't keep his part of the bargain to love me always and never leave regardless of what happens. He said back in February that if he hadn't left by then he wasn't going to regardless of what happens. That is part of the betrayal that I feel.

Why?

Because I believed those words.

I lived those words. There were many almost too many times to count that I wanted to throw in the towel, say I quit, slam the door and walk away. But I didn't.

Why?

I don't honestly have an answer for that. I guess it was because I believed some things were worth fighting for. Not anymore. And I shouldn't have been stupid enough to believe in the first place.

Stupid Rhiann/Maggie/Shiloh...that's who I am. The one who thought that there were things worth believing in, things worth fighting for, things worth her time love and energies. But she was just a stupid girl. And that's all she'll ever be.

He broke his end of the bargain you know. But I kept mine. Now, I don't even know why I bothered. I guess I'm supposed to just shut my emotions off, put up my walls again, hide from the world and never let anyone in. Everytime I let someone in it just blows up in my face, or gets thrown in my face. From now on, no one gets in. No one is worth it.

I guess I'm the one that's destined to live my life pining and die miserable and alone.

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