~Major Arcana~Judgement |
Twisted05/05/2006 - 3:05 p.m. Twisted
The sun goes down, filling the air with color You fall to your knees, and imbrace the storm You live for the danger, like your passion and your anger I know, you know, watchin' you go is like dyin', is like dyin' You take it to the limit You'd rather be rapped up, in the arms of a storm Crazy men, crazy women ~Twisted~Stevie Nicks
I woke up this morning with a quote running through my head...It speaks volumes to me. It's from the movie Twister and it goes something like this: Aunt Meg: He didn't keep his part of the bargain, did he? And deep down, that's how I feel to a degree. I feel like he didn't keep his part of the bargain to love me always and never leave regardless of what happens. He said back in February that if he hadn't left by then he wasn't going to regardless of what happens. That is part of the betrayal that I feel. Why? Because I believed those words. I lived those words. There were many almost too many times to count that I wanted to throw in the towel, say I quit, slam the door and walk away. But I didn't. Why? I don't honestly have an answer for that. I guess it was because I believed some things were worth fighting for. Not anymore. And I shouldn't have been stupid enough to believe in the first place. Stupid Rhiann/Maggie/Shiloh...that's who I am. The one who thought that there were things worth believing in, things worth fighting for, things worth her time love and energies. But she was just a stupid girl. And that's all she'll ever be. He broke his end of the bargain you know. But I kept mine. Now, I don't even know why I bothered. I guess I'm supposed to just shut my emotions off, put up my walls again, hide from the world and never let anyone in. Everytime I let someone in it just blows up in my face, or gets thrown in my face. From now on, no one gets in. No one is worth it. I guess I'm the one that's destined to live my life pining and die miserable and alone. |
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