05/07/2006 - 8:48 p.m.

Ok, here's the deal:

I have 2 options...maybe 3.

I can either:

1.Stay here in this podunk town and find another job and live out of my car

2. Go back to the Boro and live in a shelter

or

3. Come up with a way to get to NY for a fresh start. That's what I truly need you know and I don't think I'm going to find it here anymore. No sense in sticking around hoping that things will work out the way they were supposed to have.

Speaking of which, I haven't mentioned him much lately but I want to tell you about my friend Matthew. Those of you who came here from Diaryland already know who he is because of my cast page, but I also have a separate entry for him as well and you can read it here: yay entry about M

Anyway, we talked quite a bit today actually. Longer than we have in a long time. Vaguely reminds me of those really long convos we used to have way back in the day. Actually we've had some pretty good and long convos the past few days as a matter of fact.

You see, I've known him for over 2 years a helluva lot longer than I've known You Know Who and he's the only one who has NEVER turned his back on me regardless of what mistakes I've made or turned his back on me PERIOD.

Today when we were talking online he said

"We should have gotten together before we met 'them', (them being You Know Who and Matthew's ex gf)it would have saved us both a lot of heartache"

And I think he's probably right.

I had to ask later on on the phone:

"Why didn't we anyway?"

"I don't know" he replied

I guess that's going to be one of those mysteries that will never be solved.

Anywho...

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