~Major Arcana~Judgement |
Bird in a Cage11/18/2006 - 12:06 a.m. Bird in a Cage In other news of disinterest, rumour has it that Brian and I are getting back together and getting remarried. Let me assure you dear readers that this is FALSE. I'm not going to sit here and deny that the thought of getting back together with him DIDN'T cross my mind, it did. I contemplated and agonized about it for days. But it's just not going to happen. Even though I've known him for 10 years as of this coming up January and I was together with him from 1997-2004 there's just waaaaay too much history and past there to think about doing it again. Even though we can call each other 'friend' now that's all that it's ever going to be because there's absolutely NO GUARANTEES that the same shit wouldn't happen again as evidenced in recent weeks. Not a chance I'm willing to take. The cost is too great if it blows up again. It took me a long time to be able to even mention his name without an annoying twitch coming to my face*lol* And even longer before I'd even refer to him by name again (I spent several years referring to him as merely "IdiotBoy" or "The Shithead"). The idea of Christmas in MO is a little depressing because this means that inevitably I'm going to HAVE to face my ex-inlaws for the first time in almost 3 years. I may be a tough cookie to break but they come close to pushing me to that limit. Oh well, at least they were able to form their opinion of me (false and erroneous as it may be) based on their OWN general disdain of me and NOT on lies or half truths that someone told them to cover their own ass. Anyway.. So this should be interesting if nothing else...Christmas with ex inlaws....or Christmas with family who'd pretty much like to forget I exist as I'm the proverbial 'black sheep' (and only grandchild so I get hell from all sides). It's like having to choose between the lesser of two evils. At least with the ex inlaws they show their dislike of me to my face as opposed to behind my back like my family does. I'd hate to hear the rumours going around my family about me right now. Just another reason to avoid the hell out of them. Ah well*shrugs* It'll work out in the end....it always does.
*Confidential to Someone Else*At least I can honestly say I really AM better than you. At least I never cheated on him. |
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