08/12/2005 - 2:51 p.m.

Well, it's been a week now and things have gone back to normal for the most part. I've been sick all week with a cold and today is the first day that I have been able to breathe without feeling like there's an elephant sitting on my chest.

I've also not been sleeping well but it's getting better. Last night I didn't sleep with one hand wrapped around my sword.

As far as securing the house goes, I have nailed all of the windows shut so they can't be opened from the inside OR the outside. Amazingly I only hit my thumb with the hammer once.

As far as the David Situation goes, on Monday, he apologized. From what I can gather and what we had talked about afterwards, it appears that he was scared. After I told my mom about his apology she said "Let me guess, he freaked out because he didn't know WHAT to do." Then she went on to say that sometimes when people are faced with a situation like that that the easiest thing to do is to deny that it happened that way they don't HAVE to think about it or deal with it.

I have to admit that it makes sense. Even David said that was pretty much it. It just amazes me that my mom can be so quick to defend and pretty much forgive his actions. I guess it's easier for her because SHE wasn't the one that it affected. But I'm trying to forgive, I really am. I don't think it's so much forgiving as it is understanding though. And I DO understand. But it's hard because some things were said that truly hurt me and I never thought that I could be hurt like that again. But, at the same time, I do love him and he does care about me so I think I can forgive this time. I do understand why he said what he said and fear is a pretty powerful motivator.

He was worried about what people thought he was supposed to do. I told him that there was nothing that he COULD do and that I didn't expect him to do anything. According to him he's got some friends here in Nastiville keeping an eye out on me and the house at night and they have been for the past 3-4 days. That makes me feel a little better. And for all intents and purposes, we're back together. This is a good thing.

This week has definitely been one of the worst weeks in recent history, but you know what? I made it though it, I'm ok. I'm a little more paranoid, a little more vigilant but, I'm still standing and that's the most important thing

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