08/19/2004 - 1:22 a.m.

You Know You're From Tennessee When...

You've never met any celebrities....other than Fred Thompson "Vacation" means going to the family reunion. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Christmas. You laugh when people from anywhere north of TN tries to say or spell "y'all" It's "Mar-vull" not "Mary-ville" It's "Knox-vull" not "Knox-ville" A tabogan is a hat, not a sled. You butter your hot biscuit by cutting it open, putting a slab of butter inside and closing it back up again. Every town in East Tennesse has a "strip" and they're not particularly safe to be in at night. Pigeon Forge is not pronounced with a French accent. Gatlinburg does have an "L" in it and it should be pronounced. Sales tax is 9.5%. You shop at Walmart for groceries, not at a grocery store. You don't drive in Knoxville on game-day. EVER. You or your friends chew. You can't remember the last time you saw snow. You have a "piss on" sticker on your car window You know when Elvis Presley Day is You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Tennessee.

You Know You're From Missouri When...

Everyone in your family has been on a "Float trip." "Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun or Six Flags. Down south to you means Arkansas. The phrase, "I'm going to the Lake this weekend," can mean only one thing. You know what "Party Cove" is. (If you know where, you are a boating party animal) You think Missouri is pronounced with an "ah" at the end. You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football. You think I-44 is spelled "foarty-foar." (St. Louis Only) You'll pay for your kids to go to college unless they want to go to KU. You know that Concordia is halfway between Kansas City and Columbia, and Columbia is halfway between St. Louis and Kansas City, and Warrenton outlet mall is halfway between Columbia and St. Louis. You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the middle of the summer during a thunderstorm. You know that Harry S. Truman, Walt Disney and Mark Twain are all from Missouri. You know what "cow tipping" or "Possum Kicking" is. You think "frog gigging" should be an Olympic sport. You think Imo's is larger than Pizza Hut. You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance. You don't put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather. There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it. The local gas station sells live bait. Little smokies are something you serve on special occasions. All your radio preset buttons are country. You know enough to get your driving done early on Sundays before the Sunday drivers come out. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Missouri.

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