09/30/2004 - 2:21 p.m.

Ok, so I meant to update this over the 'weekend' but I never got around to it. I've been working on the other journals that I have and kinda neglected this one I'm sad to say. But anywho...

I've decided to completely, 100% undoubtedly, undeniably write IdiotBoy(Brian) off for good. I don't need toxic people like him in my life and I probably should have gotten rid of him a lot sooner than now. Actually, I KNOW I should have gotten rid of him a lot sooner than now..

What led to this sudden change of heart you ask?

Quite simply, I got tired of being treated like crap the past few days when I would attempt to talk to him. By listening carefully in the background, I now know that what he was doing was showing off. For who? Probably Vanessa...or "Nessa" as he calls her. What does he have to gain from this?

The ability to feel "Big" as he can prove that he can push the little 'ex-wifey' around. Well you know what BRIAN? Save it for your next victim because it's not going to be me anymore.

I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect...in other words, something you have no grasp of Brian.

Who knows, maybe 'Nessa' likes to be slapped around, I don't know. If she doesn't I guess she'd better learn to like it if she's going to be around you.

Now, don't tell me that you only think of her as a 'little sister' because no one is buying it, Mr. No Conscience, Only Thinking With Your Head And Not The One Above Your Neck. Then again...it's so...well...I don't want to be rude or anything..but..small that I'm not sure HOW you can think with it at all...

Can you tell that this quitting smoking thing is making me grouchy?? *smirks*

Anyway, I've gone almost 12 hours without one...

But luckily I have my caffiene...The first thing I did when I got here was get a can of Dr Pepper and a cup of coffee...I've been here for 20 minutes...both drinks are gone. But I'm hoping that it'll kill this pounding headache I have going on due to lack of nicotine and caffiene..

I'm also working on that 'craving a drink' thing. Although, I must admit...I'm not sure WHERE to begin on that. I'm still worried that I'm not going to be able to resist the temptation come my next two days off. *sighs* I have my copy of the Big Blue Book here in a special box *a cigar box purse actually* on my desk and I'm reading in between calls, but I'm trying to avoid letting anyone see what it is exactly that I'm reading...it's none of their business.

I'll muddle through though, I'm just wishing that this day were over and it were Friday already so I could get paid. Amazingly enough, I'll have a FULL PAYCHECK this week so I can finally get that rent caught up and other things. I was going to get my cellphone turned back on, but I need to buy a new SIM card for it and I don't feel like doing that...I may break down and do it anyway though. I don't know yet. I'll think about it.

Anywho...I'm going to go work on Revue Reviews I'll write more later.

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