10/14/2004 - 4:30 p.m.

Yay new squishy stars...anywho...

I'm not happy. I want to be left alone. I want to go home and sleep. I want to pull the covers up over my head. I want the world to go away. I want people to leave me alone. I want to be 'normal'. But I know that 'normal' doesn't exist.

I want to feel loved. I want to feel like someone gives a flying flip. I want to feel like I'm worth more than just a series of one night or one week stands,or phoneboinks... but I guess that's all I'm destined for. I guess I'll have to live with that fact. It doesn't bother me...

Really.

I want to be able to hear and use certain words in terms of fantasy without having flashbacks to my marriage. I want to be able to separate the fantasy from reality.

I want my exhusband to pay for detroying my ability to fantasize.

I want to be able to reach out and say to someone "Hey, I kinda like you" and not feel like I'm just being patted on the head and told 'aww how cute'.

By the way, just for the record, GREEN is not your color. Really...it's not. Trust me on this.

It doesn't look great on me either.

Then again...

I don't care.

Anyway...

Blah...

Bite Me