04/05/2005 - 12:00 a.m.

I realize that I didn't really explain myself too well in that last entry. So let me go back(I'd just edit but it's too much a royal pain in the arse to do so I just deleted and left it at that)

Anywho...

Pretty much long story short, it was a year ago today that I "flipped my lid" so to speak and found myself in the hospital. I guess thinking about that just kinda put me in a weird mood given my recent contemplative mode. It's not bad just...weird. I think I had probably had a dream about it Saturday night (I had a lot of fucked up dreams that night none of which made sense to me, but then again do most of them?*laughs*) I think part of me is just flat out scared of that happening again. And the other part is scared of running someone off if it DOES happen again. Granted, I feel that I'm pretty much in control now so it's not that big a deal. But it's also something that I shoulda realized when I woke up yesterday morning.

On the other hand, it wasn't something that I was truly consciously thinking about so that's probably why I didn't realize it.

It's funny though, how much has changed in a year. I'm more aware of when I feel my mood starting to change and can kinda 'prepare' and sort of know what to expect now and how to handle it better. Granted I still get a little 'wonky' and 'out of it' at times but not nearly as bad.

So there we have it folks, Miss Maggie figured it out. And amazingly, as soon as I did, I felt better. I told myself "Look, that was then, it's over and done with and look how much has changed. Seeeeeee??"

In other news, I talked with my cousin Tammy tonight. That's always fun. =) As we were gabbing I had made a comment and she responded with an answer that made me take a step back and say "whoa!"

(No, not a bad "whoa" just a "whoa where did THAT come from" kinda "whoa") I'll share it later.

Work is starting to stress me out though. Heh, they won't let us read newspapers on the floor now. We had a team meeting about this. We got to that part and Little Miss Sarcasm (that'd be me for the record) said "What? Are they afraid they might end up having intelligent well informed people working here?"

I have no idea where that came from*lol* But it's true. Books, magazines are fine but no newspapers?? What the blue hell??

Heh, I swear they change their policies more often than I change my underwear and I change those daily thanks.

Luckily I have the day off tomorrow. No whiny customers!

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