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more sex , lies and whatnot
2003-06-11 - 2:41 a.m.
Where the road goes
Where the day flows
- only time
"Only Time"~Enya
Yes I lied. So did he though. I'm not going to try and say that justifies my doing so though. He lied to me more times that I could count about things that I considered important*see previous heading of "sex"* After learning about his "misdeed" I started dropping hints that I knew something was up. I still couldn't prove it though. And he wasn't admitting it. After I found out 100% for sure he was STILL doing it, I confronted him and yet again he STILL denied it. I have proof of this on disk and he knows it. I don't know where the disks are now but if need be I CAN produce them again I'm sure.He told one chick that he'd been talking to that he loved her...My heart sank...I questioned him...denied it. He promised after the first time he left me that he would never do it again...2 weeks later he did....promised me again he wouldn't...a year and a half later he did...promised me he wouldn't again...6 months later....he did...promised me he wasn't cybering with the whores in sexchat*more on THAT later*...he lied...promised me he'd quit avoiding me online...he lied...promised me...promised me...promised me...promised me he'd quit hurting me *physically,emotionally*...He lied...he lied...he lied...
Granted, my lies were small and NOTHING compared to the ones he told me, but to him they were just as damaging. I can see his point. I think he fails to understand WHY I did it though. I lied about having feelings for someone because I knew it would hurt him if I ever told him. And I wanted to work things out with him. I took his "biggest fear" so he says, and threw it back in his face. I "threatened" his manhood in other words. Now let me ask you dear reader...given what you already know...would YOU have said "yes" if he asked, not knowing WHAT he would do to you and also knowing that you didn't even HAVE the feelings anymore? I can almost guarantee that most of you are shaking your heads right about now. No, you wouldn't. Like I said I'm not trying to justify my lying but I also had my reasons for doing so...