12/01/2003 - 11:09 p.m.

I'm not going to cry. There is nothing to cry about. It's just that I don't see any point to any fucking thing anymore. And of course nothing goes as planned. I'm tired of fighting with IdiotBoy, I'm tired of my job, I'm just tired of life period. Let's see...IdiotBoy and I did our usual 9 rounds of screaming at each other today. And of course he keeps throwing something back in my face. "You love someone else!" Yeah, maybe I do, but even that's pointless too. I do believe that 'that ship done sailed'. I mean, love doesn't mean a thing to anyone else, why should it mean a damn thing to me? The only thing it's good for is ripping my still beating heart out of my chest, showing it to me and laughing its ass off.Of course, these fights with IdiotBoy are usually good for sending me into a downward spiral of pissiness...which wouldn't be so bad if I weren't already pissed.I have to reschedule my wisdom tooth extraction. And right now it looks like the earliest I'm going to be able to do it is January or February. *sighs* Who cares? They've only hurt me off and on for two years, two more months won't kill me. If nothing else, I'll remove the damn things myself.My face still hurts from that weird unknown skin rash that no one seems to know what has caused it. And nothing the docs has given me has helped.Just for the record...tears make it burn like hell. But at least its something I can feel... ...I really want a drink right now...

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