05/14/2004 - 2:22 a.m.

I started a big ass entry a few minutes ago but had to reboot so now I gotta start all over...This sucks...

Well today got a little better *see whatever*parts 2 and 3*. I'm still pissed about my car*cries* I can't afford it and I didn't win the Powerball jackpot*cries some more*. As for the rest? Well, I can't change that. Oh well. That's life.*shrugging*

I may or may not write more on that topic. I keep saying that I will, then I don't. Am I wishy-washy or what? I can...but for reasons only known to myself...I can't...Does that make sense?

I had my therapy appointment today. That actually went well. My therapist made the comment that she was proud of me for the progress that I had made since I had first started coming to see her. She said that I didn't seem quite as depressed right now. I did tell her that I feel the depression creeping back in and that I keep trying to push it back. She was also proud of me from sticking with my treatment plan and working so closely with Dr. Bell. I see her again next Friday and I see Dr. Bell again on the 28th. You know what's funny? I actually leaned back on the couch, like I had realized it was there for the first time as opposed to perching on the edge of it jittery as hell. That was kinda cool too. I'm still manic, but it's more of a hypomania as opposed to true mania which is what I've been experiencing for the past couple of weeks. I kinda miss the mania though. I got so much done...Oh well.

I'm so excited. The Fleetwood Mac show is tonight. I've waited 7 years for this and now...its supposed to rain. Actually it's supposed to be thunderstorms. Great I can see it now...I'm a human lightning rod...*zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzappppppppp* Oh well... at least I would have died happy. I'm still debating on what to wear. If it's going to rain then I shoudln't wear jeans because they'll get heavy and soaked and won't dry out quickly...I hate wet jeans. So I may wear my lace skirt. If I get wet then it'll dry fast.

I need to go out to my mom's this weekend and beg for a loan. I'm gonna run out of cash before I get paid again as I only have 15 dollars to my name*lol* So I'm gonna ask for a small loan that I can pay back on the 28th. That'll get me through with no problems.

Well..this entry turned out longer than I thought it would. This is a good thing I guess. I have another entry planned for tonight...about this whole war thing...

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