02/14/2005 - 2:22 p.m.

Well here we are once again, another Valentine's Day is upon us. Allow me to share something I wrote earlier this morning on a message board I frequent:

I admit it, I'm a bitter cynical fuck.

Yeah, yeah Happy Valentine's Day my ass. What foolish moron decided that some martyred saint should be immortalized by the passing along of sappy cards, roses and chocolate? It's a waste of trees, the roses die and chocolate makes you fat anyway.

All those picture perfect couples you see on TV and the movies and magazines? They're fucking fake and lead poor saps like us striving to achieve that same level of 'perfection' in our own relationships only to be bitterly disappointed when you realize that the whole love thing is a lie anyway. There are no fireworks, no sparks, no fucking violins playing a lilting melody. More likely, you'll look at your significant other sitting on the sofa in his underwear, a beer in one hand the remote in the other, all the while the dog is begging to be let out to take a shit and the time honored question of "What are you cooking for dinner?"

And a cheezy card and a declaration of "I love you" on some seemingly random day in the middle of February is supposed to make you forget all that? I don't fucking think so. I hope you get a papercut on your tongue from licking the card envelope, a prick from the rose thorns and shove that heart shaped box of candy up your ass. As if you even remembered that it was V-Day anyway!

So while the suckers are out on their fancy dinners, dancing and making love today, I'll be here in a party of one, *QUITE HAPPILY THANK YOU* drinking my booze, playing with my battery operated boyfriend (the only 'male' worth having at this particular point in time) and sleeping.

Bitterman? Party of one, right this way please...

Maybe I shouldn't be so bitter, I dunno.

I mean, I went out with this really sweet guy the other night, who even gave me a cheesy card and 2 packs of smokes*lol* However...

When a guy says that he feels like he needs a 4 year degree in order to have a conversation with you(although by his admission this isnt a BAD thing)...

That just CAN NOT be a good thing.

What am I supposed to do? I like this guy*yeah I'm smidge smitten perhaps* but I don't wanna run him off because I'm TOO much of a brainiac. I guess I could dumb myself down a bit...but that's not me...

What to do, what to do...

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