Here we go again. I feel that nasty blue funk settling in. I've been feeling it for a few days now but have been trying to avoid it.But,it seems that the more I avoid it the more things happen to reinforce the feelings. Take today for instance. My friend sent me a picture of her now 8 month old daughter. She's a cutie pie thats for sure. She kinda looks like me when I was a baby*lol* But that didn't really bother me. I only got a twinge of that green eyed monster thing. However, right before that, I got an email from a woman who I always chatted with on one of the AOL Trying to Conceive boards who after trying for almost as long as the shithead and I had been is finally pregnant. Yes, I'm happy for her, she deserves this, probably a lot more than I ever did. But it hurt still. And of course my friend/cousin telling me yesterday that "well at least there were no children involved" as far as the divorce goes (Yes the shithead is avoiding me like a spoiled immature brat again because I didn't agree with something he said.) DIDN'T HELP. Right now I'm getting all of these constant reminders of how I've pretty much failed at everything I've ever done. I couldn't keep my marriage together, I couldn't have children, I couldn't even finish a degree that I started almost 7 years ago. Hell I can't even keep my damn apartment since I can't pay the rent THANKS TO THE SHITHEAD. Its only a matter of days I'm sure before I get my eviction notice. Anyway, so that's whats going on in my fucked up life...I feel like I'm just standing here waiting for the inevitable to happen only to realize that it pretty much already has and I've fallen flat on my face and there's no one here to pick up the pieces and I can't seem to do it by myself.

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