01/15/2004 - 3:25 a.m.

I've decided. I'm not going to say anything. There's no point. I have concluded that it would most likely within 99% certainty be a waste of my time. And I don't like wasting time.

I did something silly today too. I went to the store and they were selling fresh roses. So.......I bought myself one. Somehow its just not the same as someone else buying it for you...I probably will go ahead and throw it away. Either that or it'll be left in the car til it dries out and I end up playing that 'he loves me, he loves me not' game. The last petal will be 'not' and then I will proceed to stomp the remains of the stem into a pulpy oblivion until I feel better. Then feel stupid because its just a kiddie game.

Immediately thereafter I will feel bad because I wasted the money, so I'll go out and buy a new rose and proceed to to the same thing again.

Vicious cycle I tell ya...vicious cycle.