02/29/2004 - 1:45 a.m.

What's wrong with me?!!?! I just can't fucking DEAL. Not with life, with work, with friends...nothing!

I got to work today, shaking a like a leaf...my nerves are completely shot...I sit at my desk...Matthew turns to ask me something and I just look at him with a blank look on my face...

...and promptly burst into tears.

He asked me what was wrong and quite honestly. I don't know. And I told him that too.

If I knew what was wrong I would have said something. But damned if I know.

I managed to make it through my shift and just got home a little over half an hour ago.

The first thing I did, after visiting the powder room, was to go and hide all the medications I could find in the house in a big ass vase.

I didn't/don't trust myself NOT to use them.

I just want to know what the hell is wrong with me. I'm tired. Just very tired. The whole mood swing thing is taking its toll on me again. I can't deal with this anymore!!!!

But I'll be fine. I always am.*slight smile* And for those who'd like to make light of the situation. Fuck you too.

*Rant over*

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