03/01/2004 - 1:48 a.m.

I've done well at keeping myself busy today.

Until now anyway.

I spent most of the day cooking, cleaning and crocheting...yes crocheting. I'm not too good at it but at least it was time consuming. But now, my hands are numb from doing it so long, and I stopped. Unfortunately, with nothing to keep my busy, I start thinking again. I don't think it would be so bad if I weren't here by myself. But here to myself is where I'll be for the next 3 months as the roomie has gone to North Carolina until June. She got a job there and won't be back until June.

I've already drank an entire pot of coffee today. I don't think that helped either*lol*

*sighs*

What's wrong with me?? I know I shouldn't be dwelling on thoughts of the past, but for some reason I can't stop when I get depressed, which leads to more depression which eventually ends back up to 'happy happy obnoxiously perky' and back again.

*puts head down on desk* I just want it to stop. Is that too much to ask?

You know something? Once again, I was told that I'm one of the most even-keeled people somebody knows. A tough cookie, etc...does this just prove that looks can be decieving??

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