03/02/2004 - 1:49 a.m.

OK, so I had a shitty day. I went from extremely depressed and thinking that I didn't want to die but I didn't want to live either, to obnoxiously perky and back again...to where I'm at now...

which is...indifferent. I'm not happy or sad. I'm just kinda here. And I can live with that for now.

I've also had an entire pot of coffee today which is making sleep nothing but a fleeting dream. I'm tired but not sleepy.

This sucks. IB kept trying to point out the things he thinks are good with my life. I kinda fail to see the good really though. And I'm scared. Of pushing someone away with my drastically changing moods. Maybe I already have. I don't know. *shrugging* My 27th birthday is this coming up Saturday. I don't have much to show for it.*sighs*

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