04/30/2004 - 9:08 p.m.

Oy, I have so many things to talk about but all of my thoughts are jumbled. But let's try and see where this goes.

First things first...I'm still on Medical Leave. I had my therapist fill out my paperwork and she WILL NOT let me go back to work until the 10th of May AT LEAST. Something about me still not being stable enough to handle it. Ok, so I'm fucking manic...I also went 2 days without my sleeping meds. Luckily I have an appointment with my pdoc on the 7th so hopefully he can assure me the Geodon won't kill me..or find me something that doesn't list 'sudden death' as a possible side effect...

I went and got the roomie's car registered for the year. This was a nightmare and a half because I was wearing my boots, and of course being that it's the last day of the month EVERYONE was at the County Clerks office trying to get THEIR cars registered as well...my poor feet have blisters now. That blows.

As I was driving home, I was behind a car that had a vanity tag that said 'urhome' (you are home). I was behind this car forever and a day...and I started realizing for the first time...that I really AM home...I mean I've been back in TN for almost 3 years...but now...I'm finally home.

It's weird how you start thinking about things out of the blue, that have no relevance to anything in the present. A good example of this was that I remembered that when I was 11 I got my great grandmother hooked on watching Days of Our Lives and Santa Barbara. She used to refer to the as 'The Programs'. I quit watching in 1994 because of the whole Marlena possessed by Satan storyline. My grandma watched the show until she got sick and went into the nursing home. She died in 1999. I went to the visitation at the funeral home, but couldn't force myself to stay for the funeral. It was too soon. The room that the visitation was in was the same room that my dad's memorial service was at in 1997.

Anyway, it's weird how I started thinking about that the other day. I was outside smoking a ciggie. All of a sudden the thought just hit me *shrugging*

Anyway...other than that, not much has really been happening here. I did get Monday a new collar today. It's red with a little red bell.....and a cute little blue bow.

Did I mention Monday is a male cat?*lol* He gave me the most evil look one could imagine when I put that on him. He'll get over it though :-p

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