09/11/2004 - 3:27 p.m.

Today on the third anniversary of The 9/11 attacks, I'd like to take a moment to reflect on my thoughts and feelings and actions on that day.

The day had started out just like any other really. I rolled over and threw my arm around my husband who was curled up next to me on our airbed. We'd been living back here in TN for just barely a month now and had been working for about 2 going on three weeks at our new jobs which we had found almost immediately upon our return. Since I couldn't find our alarm clock the only way to be able to find out what time it was was to turn on the TV and try to guess the time by what television show was on at the time.

I knew it had to be relatively early but not close to noon as I had broken out of that habit a while ago when I was working at Jack in the Box and Mobil simultaneously.

My husband woke up at the same time so we decided that we'd just better go ahead and get up.

I remember looking out of the window and in my bleary-eyedness noting that it was extremely bright and quite cloudless that day. Because my eyes hadn't quite focused yet despite having put on my glasses, I stumble into the living room to turn on the television. I knew that no matter what time it was the news would be on soon, and for some reason, I love watching the news. My husband never quite understood this, but I just like to be informed.

When I turned on the television, I saw that there was some sort of breaking news story, and since the volume was down I couldn't quite figure it out. So I knelt down and started reading the captions on the live shots that the Today Show were showing of some buildings with smoke pouring out of them. Then they flashed to a picture of the Pentagon with smoke billowing as well.

As soon as all of this registered, and it took a moment because I was in shock at what I was reading at the bottom of the screen. I slowly rose as my husband came into the room.

"Honey, you're not going to believe this..." For the next 5 hours(it was 945am for those of you who were wondering), he and I sat staring at the television. Neither one of us could believe that this was happening. HERE in OUR country. As we sat and watched history unfold before our eyes and saw the death and devestation, this would be the only time that I would see my husband cry that was NOT directly, or indirectly related to me, our marriage or our families. I walked down to my mom's house, who just lived down the road from me. I was dressed for work and she looks at me, looks at the televison and says "You might want to hide that*pointing to my pentacle*. They're gonna be all over everyone pretty soon." I took off the necklace, but put it back on after I left her house. While I was there she and I started brainstorming various theories as to what was happening. At this point, the media wasn't quite sure what was going on themselves. She and I talked at length about this. And mentioned something about Ft. Campbell possibly using the old helipad that was waaaaay back on our farm. They had evidently built it and used it during Vietnam. I've never seen this helipad, but I have no doubt that it exists.

Speaking of Ft Campbell, as I lived about 10 miles from there, one of the first things I noticed, other than the still unusually bright sky, was that there was NO SOUND to be heard other than a gentle breeze occasionally. After 22 years, this was the first day that I DID NOT hear a helicopter or airplane in the sky. It was quite an eerie feeling not to mention very It was also at that moment, standing in my front lawn that I realized, that life...for ALL of us...had changed forever.

Driving to work that day was eerie as well, as the radio stations had abandoned their regular formats and were now broadcasting news 24-7. When we arrived, we noticed that most of the reps were not there. It turns out that one of our departments, NCAC*I forget what it stands for...* had been released early. The reason was this: Their job is sales, trying to convince people to change long distance carriers. Their target market?

New York. Out of respect, our center sent the workers home.

Our training class was sent home 2 hours early as well as no one could stay focused.

That night, I logged onto a website that I am webmistress of, knowing what needed to be done. I wrote a message of hope, of peace, and left a loop of Amazing Grace playing in the background. The site has not been updated since October of 2001 but you can still see the remants of the Prayer Page here: Our Father's Daughters. I did not write the poem you find there.

In the days that followed, we watched this story unfold, through televison, radio, newspapers, and the internet. It got to a point where the shock and anger that someone could do this to us on our own soil became less and we became almost desenitized to it. It's a terrible thing to say, but once you've been exposed constantly in a nonstop barrage of media...*shakes head*

The following year, I attended a memorial on campus. And as I looked around, I realized that during those darkest days, our country pulled together, not only in a show of support to our countrymen, but to show the world that we will not be toppled by extremists.

These days, even though three years have passed, I still get a little nervous when I see a low flying plane. I guess that can't be avoided really since I live and work directly in the flight path of Nashville International Airport. But everytime...I wonder...

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