10/02/2004 - 1:15 a.m.

Well what do you know? I got off early after all...at 7pm. So I went to grab some dinner at Fazoli's. I do believe that I am pasta'd out. I got the sampler thingie and it came with lasagne,fettucine alfredo,spaghetti, a salad and breadsticks.

But before I ate, I had business to take care of. Namely my laundry. I ran in the house and gathered up the dirty clothes and my bedding and off to the laundomat I go. I wanted to make sure I got there before the last load warning. Luckily I made it with 30 minutes to spare. Yay clean clothes. This means I don't have to run around nekkid. Then I came home and hopped in the shower in an attempt to get my back and neck to loosen up. Unfortunately it didn't work too well and I only wish I had some of my prescription Naproxen or my Celebrex. That stuff knocked out my pain in no time flat. I've got naproxen but it's the over the counter stuff and really doesn't work too well. What I need is a massage...

Any one wanna give me one??

I musta screamed louder than I thought I did earlier today. My throat is so raw and fucking hurts :( so does my ear now slightly too. This sucks. I really need to control my temper when I'm driving. I mean on top of the screaming, honking etc I was pulling my hair and crying. Geez what the fuck is wrong with me??

*sniffs sheets* mmmmmmmmmm

Yes, I admit it...I'm easily amused. And I love the smell of freshly laundered sheets*lol* It ranks up there with freshly shaved legs...speaking of which I need to do that, maybe tomorrow.

I also got monitored yesterday*the 30th* at work. I got a 90. My stats are kicking ass I must say. And this Tuesday I'm going job hunting. I am going to get a second job even if it kills me. I need to get some money put aside to get out of here.

I'm still fighting the urge to drink. It seems to be getting stronger daily. *sigh* How much longer can I hold on??? Right now the only thing holding me back is remembering how it was last summer. I was drinking daily...a LOT. At one point, I remember driving around at 10am wondering if it was too early for a drink, even though I knew I had to be at work in 3 hours. Walking up and down the street, trashed off my ass...My skin a lovely shade of grey/green constantly....The headaches, the nausea from not drinking...The budgeting of money, forget food...alcohol was my food...I lived on a steady diet of booze and smokes...I went to court hungover...

Then I moved in with Amanda and cleaned up somewhat. Quit drinking daily, started drinking only on weekends...And then...it started again...only this time it was hard liquor...And while it wasn't daily...it was enough...

The day I went into the bin for the first time, I had the bottle of Southern Comfort out...and debated on whether to have a drink before I left.

I chose not to.

*sigh*

Blah...

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