10/03/2004 - 4:43 p.m.

Well I'm having another sciatic nerve inflammation. At first I thought it was just strain because it was just hurting in the lower part of my back. But now, it's spread down BOTH of my legs this time as opposed to just one of them. I've been popping the Aleve like candy recently hoping that it'll clear up soon. It'd better. This is getting annoying.

On the other hand, I'd rather be having that than yet another eczema flare up. I just got over that, and yes my wrist is now scarred from it. UGH. I'd rather have it on my wrist than my face though like I did last year. Eventually the scarring will fade though. I just wish it would on my face. It was worse on the left side than it was the right so I have some scarring there too. It could always be worse I suppose.

On a different note, I haven't heard from IdiotBoy the WonderDork in about 5 days now. And I must say I am immensely enjoying the quietness. I feel myself slipping away from him as though he is nothing more than a distant memory that grows dimmer with each passing day. About a year ago, this would have bothered me, but now, I realize that I can never be 'free' unless I allow this occur. And so I shall...and it has...and it will...

I just wish it were that easy to do with Someone. I won't deny that a little part of me still wishes and hopes, but I realize there too that it's just pointless. So I shall move on from that as well.

*sigh*

Did I mention my back really really and I mean REALLY hurts???

Right now I have my legs propped up on my trashcan under my desk in an attempt to try and relieve the pressure on that nerve so hopefully I can walk without this throbbing, radiating pain shooting down my legs, but it's not working sadly. I'm sitting here rubbing my legs through my jeans as though I am massassing myself and I'm getting no relief what so ever.

ooh..

I just locked my chair. Now I'm sitting up straighter and it seems to be making my back stretch a bit but I can live with this since I now feel a rush of relief.

I just wish I could go home so I could lay down for a bit or hop in a nice steaming hot shower to try and get the muscle to ease up.

It's making trying to exercise a pain in the butt lemme tell ya. I can sit here and count calories and fat grams all I want, til I'm blue in the face, but until I can actually get moving...

*sigh*

I'll get there though :)

Anyway, I have a few more things I'm gonna gab about but I'll save them for later. Right now I want to savor any bit of relief I can get at the moment.

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