01/05/2005 - 10:04 a.m.

So here we are for another fun filled adventurous day here at work! YAY WORK!!

Um..yeah.

My alarm went off at 8am this morning and I roll over from the depths of the warm, snug cave I had made for myself overnight and prodded the clock into another 9 minutes of submission. As I sit and wait for the next auditory assault I realize that I just want to sleep.

Sleep to forget. The sun is entirely too bright you know..Yet, the sun is not shining today. It's just too bright all around. It may be because I took to my bed last night with a nasty headache and I'm still recovering. Who knows.

After 50 minutes of tug of war with the alarm clock *sleep---no you can't Sleep* I rise and get dressed and look at the messages blinking on my computer screen. Nothing important, just a message from N asking how my new year was. We look at the list of people signed on and a darkness descends upon my room, which has been there for a few days ever since that knife was shoved in my back. I see the name that has caused me a great deal of rage. Rage is never a good thing you know. Part of me, the evil part of course, the scorned vengeful part, hopes and prays that he KNOWS that he hasn't gotten away with it.

Is that wrong? Perhaps not, but the inky depths of my heart wish it were true, that he sees, that he knows...

I get to work, I feel on edge, I keep it in check though. I write, I write, I write...What will they say of my journals after I'm dead and gone though? Will they be considered classics of my time or just hysterical ramblings of a crazy woman who should have been locked up long ago?

Only time can tell these things you know...

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