01/05/2005 - 5:10 p.m.

Oy, if I don't watch it, my mouth is gonna end up getting me in BIG trouble. Somehow, I don't think the phrase "would you like to listen to me, please, thank you" is conducive to a good call, and I said those words before I even knew what was happening! It just kinda...fell...out of my mouth. That's the FIRST time that's EVER happened. After I realized what was happening *the person was trying to push my buttons and KNEW he was succeeding and kept going.

But I managed to rein it back in and lucky this was my last call before lunch, so I took the book I was reading and went outside and smoked 2 ciggies to calm down. I've been back for about 20 minutes now and feel much better but I'd been fighting it all day and I guess it was only a matter of time until it spewed out. Luckily it was only a minor infraction and I pray to the goddess I wasn't being monitored at that time otherwise I'm gonna be in trouble.

Another note. I can't do this anymore. I can't work 11 and a half hour days at this place. It's driving me nuttier. Note that I didn't say nuts. I'm already there and getting worse*lmao* Must...watch...what...I...say...

Didn't I even mention that in my LAST entry?? Oy...

Maybe one of these days I'll actually learn to listen to myself*laughs*

We can hope anyway.

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