11/29/2005 - 12:38 p.m.

...is that she isn't real.

Just who is she then?

That's a good question. One that I've been trying to answer all morning myself.

You see, it all started last night in my dreams. I had two of them. It's rare that I have two dreams with a recurring theme so that's part of the reason that I'm befuddled over it.

In the first dream, I was in a city with my friend Brandy and my ex-friend Amanda and we were driving a carriage with a black horse named...

Well for whatever reason The carriage got unhooked from the horse and started spinning which scared the horse.

It's worth noting that the main mode of transportation for all individuals in the dream was by carriage or horseback...why I don't know. It's also worth noting that in this dream before the carriage got unhooked we were in a park with the carriage parked and an Admiral(in complete regalia) gave us a ticket for parking in a no parking zone. I didn't find out until I walked over and then all of a sudden I literally 'flew' on top of a fire hydrant and managed to get the ticket destroyed. In the end of that particular part the Admiral asked if I wanted his credit card pin number. Anyway...

I woke up as the carriage became unhitched (after the Admiral had left) yeah, twas not fun...I was all sweaty and stuff.

Then after I got back to sleep I started having another dream.

In this dream I dreamt that David was cheating on me...

...with a girl named...

I recall that she had short blond hair, and a long face that was actually quite horselike and she didn't actually like or love him, she was just there to try and piss ME off. Why I don't know though.

Thing is, she was in MY house...

(only in this dream was it my house...in reality I have never seen said house before in my life)

Yeah so this dream woke me up too...

I've decided that Talinda is a manifestation of my fears about...well...everything.

But it's odd that my fears should take on an actual HUMAN name though. It sounds almost schizophrenic.

Note to self:If I start actually SEEING or HEARING Talinda talking to me, I am going to check myself back into the nearest looney bin ASAP

In other pointless news:

1. I actually worked yesterday.
2. At a motel doing housekeeping.
3. I got paid 5.75 an hour.
4. It's worth noting that every job this place sends me to is paying less and less every time.
5. I am of the opinion that I am worth more than 5.75 an hour.
6. I filled out and completed that application for Caremark today.
7. They had better hire me.
8. I want to come back home.
9. The person at the next computer is filling out an application for the same company.
10. But that's ok.
11. I think.
12. I miss David.
13. A LOT.
14. Did I mention...A LOT.
15. The other night as I was lying in bed I was cold so I imagined his arms around me and oddly enough I suddenly started feeling warm.
16. I love you babe.
17. I'll call you tonight.
18. He's not online anymore so he won't ever see this unfortunately.
19. I love you anyway babe.
20. From what I can tell, we don't have to do the "Oh Shit" dance.
21. But I really can't tell.
22. I'll give my period another week to show up.
23. Then I'll test again.
24. But I'm 95% sure that I am NOT pregnant.
25. I went to the pharmacy yesterday to refill my Depakote.
26. They were out and won't have it until today.
27. This means that I couldn't take it last night.
28. Or this morning.
29. And lemme tell ya...
30. I can feel it.
31. I have my interview in less than 2 hours.
32. Wish me luck.
33. Lots of it.
34. I WILL be home soon.

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